NOHO

Excessive drinking can lead to a host of health problems, including liver disease, cancer, dementia and depression. At the very least, it can make for a pretty groggy morning after.

“The Hangover Defense” shot by NOHO aims to ease that suffering. Take a shot of this “functional lifestyle beverage” before the evening’s first rum and Coke, and another before face-planting the sheets and wake up good to go in the a.m. Up the dosage the more you drink, the company vaguely prescribes.

“Whether it’s one drink or ten … Drinking NOHO helps fun-seeking and active people enjoy their lifestyle while helping to prevent hangovers,” says the company’s website, which also takes orders for NOHO Gold, a mixer said to fend off hangovers as well.

While encouraging excessive drinking may not be the noblest message — especially when that message appears to be targeting kids — does NOHO actually work in preventing hangovers? Is it worth a try at $50 for a 24-pack of shots and $36 for a 12-pack of Gold?

With a somewhat reaching comparison to how sunblock protects against harmful UV rays, here’s how the company validates its claims:

Drinking a NOHO prior to consuming an alcoholic beverage helps load up the body with those essential vitamins and nutrients, we call it Pre-Plenishing, protecting it from the consumption ahead. Our products help consumers from getting drained of the essential elements they need to support chemical balance in the body.

The website then points to five “key ingredients” — prickly pear extract, ginger root extract, potassium, magnesium and iron.

But the substantiation ends there. There is no hard science in the form of clinical trials or studies on the website that support the effectiveness of the drinks in preventing hangovers. Instead, there are only customer testimonials from folks like “Unknown,” who deftly writes:

I got this stuff for Las Vegas and did some crazy stuff I can’t tell anyone about. NOHO kept me going by not being hungover so I could continue my crazy antics! Thanks NOHO.

So it does work.

Well, not so fast. This comment could come from a member of the NOHO Generation, which is NOHO’s Multilevel Marketing – a way of distributing products or services in which the distributors earn income from their own retail sales and from retail sales made by their direct and indirect recruits. arm, who stands to gain from these nice comments. In fact, all of the testimonials on the website could come from people trying to sell NOHO themselves after being told by the company that they could be making six figures as a distributor.

Which opens up another can of worms. The link to the distributor compensation page on nohogen.com — which should tell you how much affiliates earn — comes up Page Not Found. So who’s to say anyone’s making that type of money as a distributor?

What we can tell you about financials, though, is that NOHO reported collective net losses of more than $4.6 million in 2012 and 2013, while the company’s president, John Grdina, earned more than $1.1 million during that time, according to SEC filings.

Somebody get me a drink.

Find more of our coverage on multi-level marketing companies here.